Coping With Changes in How You Feel About Yourself

This page is for anyone whose body or self-image has changed because of cancer. It covers common feelings and practical ways to cope.

All of us have a mental picture of how we look, which is our self-image. We may not always like it, but we are used to it. Cancer and its treatment can change how you look and feel about yourself. Know that you are not alone in how you feel. Many others have similar feelings and experiences.

For many people, cancer treatment brings changes to the way the body looks and feels. Some of these changes are short-term, while others last longer. Issues you may face include:

• Hair loss
• Skin changes
• Scars from surgery
• Weight changes
• Loss of a limb
• An ostomy (an opening made in the belly for waste to leave the body)
• Loss of fertility

Even if others cannot see them, your body changes may trouble you. These losses are real, and it is okay to feel upset about them. Feelings of anger and grief about changes in your body are natural. Changes in the way you look can also be hard for your loved ones, which in turn can be hard on you.

Coping with body changes can be hard, but there are gentle steps that help.

• Mourn your losses and know it is okay to feel sad, angry, and frustrated. Your feelings are real, and you have a right to grieve.
• Seek help from a counselor. Ask your doctor or nurse to suggest someone you can talk to about your feelings.
• Focus on your strengths. Try to notice the ways coping with cancer has made you stronger, wiser, and more realistic.
• Care for skin changes. If your skin has changed from radiation or other treatments, ask your doctor about ways to care for it, or ask for a referral to a skin care expert.
• Look for new ways to enhance your appearance. A new haircut, hair color, makeup, or clothing may give you a lift. If you wear a wig, a salon can help shape and style it.
• Connect with others. Join a support group or talk with other patients for advice.

With the passage of time and getting help from others, many people adjust and move forward. And remember that some changes may be temporary.

Many people find that being active helps their self-image and the way they feel. If you have the energy, you might try walking, swimming, playing a sport, taking an exercise class, weight training, or gentle stretching and yoga.

Being active can reduce your stress and help you relax. It may also help you feel stronger and more in control of your body. Start slowly if you need to, and take your time. A trainer at your gym or a physical therapist can offer tips, and it is good to talk with your doctor about ways to stay active.

Hobbies and volunteer work can also improve your self-image and self-esteem. Think about what brings you comfort or joy. You might like to read, listen to music, do puzzles, garden, write in a journal, or do woodwork.

Volunteer work can be another way to take your mind off things. You could volunteer at a local agency or become a mentor or tutor. Many people find they feel better about themselves when they get involved in helping others and doing things they enjoy.

Changes in how you look and feel can bring feelings of loss and sadness. Talking with a counselor, alone or with a loved one, may help. Ask a nurse or social worker if you can talk to someone.

Coping takes time, and support makes it easier. Ask your health care team for resources and support groups that might help you, and be gentle with yourself as you adjust.