Should I tell my young children I have cancer?
Yes. Being honest is better than pretending everything is okay. Your children will be upset when they learn about your cancer. Even so, the National Cancer Institute advises not hiding it, because even very young children can sense when something is wrong.
Children notice a lot. They will see that you don't feel well, that you are away from home more often, or that you can't spend as much time with them as you used to. Children as young as 18 months old begin to notice what's going on around them. Telling the truth is better than letting them imagine the worst. So be honest, and give your kids time to ask questions and express their feelings.
A few reassuring messages help with children of all ages. Nothing they did, thought, or said caused your cancer. Having cancer doesn't mean you will die from it, and many people live with cancer for a long time. They can't make you well, but there are ways they can help you feel better. And you will make sure they are taken care of, no matter what happens.
How you talk can be adjusted to your child's age. Teachers, family members, and spiritual leaders can help. Your health care team can also point you to counselors and materials for talking with children.
Want the full picture? Read our complete explanation: Talking to Children About Your Cancer
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