How do I ask others for help as a cancer caregiver?

Many caregivers say that, looking back, they took too much on themselves. Others wish they had asked for help sooner. The National Cancer Institute suggests taking an honest look at what you can and cannot do. Which things do you want to do yourself? Which ones can you turn over or share?

Tasks that others can often help with include:

• Chores such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, or yard work.
• Taking care of the kids, or picking them up from school or activities.
• Driving your loved one to appointments, or picking up medicines.
• Being the contact person who keeps others updated.

Accepting help is not always easy. But getting help for yourself also helps your loved one. You may stay healthier, and they may feel less guilty about all you are doing. Websites such as SignUpGenius or Lotsa Helping Hands can help you organize requests and tasks.

Be ready for some people not to help. They may be coping with their own problems, or afraid of cancer, or unaware of how hard things are. If someone is not giving the help you need, you can explain what you need, or you can let it go. If the relationship matters to you, telling them how you feel can keep resentment from building up.