The short answer
Good communication with your family and health care team has a positive effect on your cancer journey. Talking about cancer can lower stress, and you get to decide when and how you share. Simple steps, like bringing someone to appointments and writing down questions, can make conversations easier.
Good communication with your family and care team can lower anxiety and improve your care.
You choose when and how much to talk about your cancer.
Talking about cancer-related issues may reduce stress for you and your family.
Telling your team how you like to receive information helps them support you.
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The full explanation.
Why talking helps
Good communication between people with cancer, their family, and the health care team is important. It has a positive effect on your cancer journey. The goals of good communication are to build a trusting relationship with your team, learn about your diagnosis, discuss your options, and improve your well-being and quality of life.
Studies show many positive results when people with cancer and their doctors communicate well. People are more likely to be content with their care, more likely to follow through with treatment, and more likely to have a better quality of life. They also tend to have reduced anxiety and a better understanding of their disease.
You decide when and how to talk
Talking about your cancer is your choice. You choose when to talk about it. It can be hard for people to know how to talk to you, and loved ones often mean well but do not know what to say or how to act.
If you want to talk, you can help others feel more at ease by asking what they are thinking or how they are feeling. And if you do not want to talk about it, it is okay to say that too. You can let them know when you are ready.
When talking with family feels hard
You will go through many emotions when you have cancer. You may want to hide feelings of distress and sadness and act normal to protect your family and friends. This is often true for loved ones too, who may hide their own worry.
Talking about cancer-related issues may help reduce stress for you and your family. For some families, family-focused counseling can help everyone communicate and support one another.
Making conversations with your team easier
It can be hard to remember what your doctor said and what you wanted to ask. A few simple steps can help:
- Make a list of questions before your visit.
- Bring a family member with you when you meet with your doctor.
- Ask for a copy of the information so you can read it after your visit.
- Record the discussion so you can listen again later.
You can also ask if your clinic offers a packet with a question sheet and booklets, or a psychologist you can talk to about how you are feeling. If you would like extra help, ask for a patient navigator, who can guide you through the health care system and help you communicate with your team.
Sharing how you like to receive information
People are different in how they want to get news and updates. Tell your health care team how you want to receive information about your cancer and treatment. You may prefer written instructions and phone calls, or you may prefer texts and emails.
Culture can shape communication too. Some people place greater emphasis on including the whole family in decisions, while others focus more on making their own decisions. Some people want a lot of detail about their prognosis, while others want less. There is no single right way. Let your team know how much information you want and who you would like included.
Your religious or spiritual beliefs may also be a source of strength. If you have spiritual or religious needs you want your team to know about, you can share those too.
The bottom line: you are in charge of the conversation. Sharing on your own terms, and in the way that feels right to you, can lower stress and help you get the care and support you need.
Words to know
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Common questions
▸Why does talking about my cancer matter?
Good communication between people with cancer, their family, and the health care team has a positive effect on your cancer journey. When people and their doctors communicate well, results include being more content with care, following through with treatment, better quality of life, and reduced anxiety.
▸Do I have to talk about my cancer if I do not want to?
No. You choose when to talk about your cancer. If you want to talk, you can make loved ones feel more at ease by asking how they are feeling. And if you do not want to talk about it, it is okay to say that too, and let them know when you are ready.
▸It is hard for my family to talk about my cancer. Is that common?
Yes. You may want to hide feelings of distress and act normal to protect your family and friends, and they often feel the same way. Talking about cancer-related issues may help reduce stress for you and your family, and family-focused counseling may also help.
▸How can I make doctor visits easier to follow?
It can be hard to remember what the doctor said. Make a list of questions before your visit, bring a family member with you, ask for a copy of the information so you can read it later, or record the discussion so you can go back to it.
▸How do I tell my team the way I like to get information?
Let them know your preferences. You may want written instructions and phone calls, or you may prefer texts and emails. Some people want a lot of detail, while others want less. Telling your team how much information you want helps them communicate in a way that works for you.
▸What is a patient navigator?
A patient navigator is someone who can guide you through the health care system and help you communicate with your health care team, so you get the information you need to make decisions about your care. You can ask for help from one.
Questions to ask your doctor
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