How can I care for someone with cancer who lives far away?

Even from a distance, you can give real support to a loved one with cancer by being a problem-solver and care coordinator. Caregivers who live an hour or more away typically rely on phone calls and email to stay connected, and part of the role is learning to judge whether a given situation can be handled remotely or needs an in-person visit.

A few concrete steps can help. Develop a relationship with one or two key members of the health care team — a nurse, social worker, or patient educator — and ask about arranging conference calls or online meetings for updates. Build a list of local people you can call on for different situations, and share your contact information with both the care team and those local helpers.

It's also important to get organized: make sure at least one family member has written permission to receive medical and financial information, and gather important paperwork like health care documents, advance directives, and financial and legal records in one place, such as a notebook or shared secure document.

When you do visit, try to time your travel so you can rest before and after, since these visits can be emotionally demanding.