When Your Mom or Dad Has Cancer

If your mom or dad has cancer, a lot might be going through your head right now. This page is for you.

First, the two big things

• It is not your fault. Nothing you did, said, or thought made your parent get cancer. Really.
• You cannot catch it. Cancer isn't like a cold. You can still hug your parent, sit close, and cuddle. Being close is safe — and it helps both of you.

What might change at home

When a parent has cancer, some things might be different for a while:

• Your parent might feel very tired or need to rest a lot.
• They might go to the hospital or doctor a lot, or stay there sometimes.
• Their hair might fall out from the medicine (it grows back).
• Other grown-ups — a grandparent, aunt, or friend — might help take care of you more.
• Home might feel busier, quieter, or just different.

These changes are because of the treatment, which is working to help your parent get better.

What stays the same

Here's what doesn't change: your mom or dad still loves you, exactly as much as before. Even when they're tired or grumpy from feeling sick, that love is still there.

And here's something important — you are still allowed to be a kid. You can play, laugh, go to school, and have fun with friends. Doing normal kid things isn't wrong or mean. It's actually good for you and for your family.

Feelings and questions

You might feel scared, sad, mad, or confused. All of those are okay. The best thing you can do is talk to a grown-up you trust — your other parent, a grandparent, a teacher, or a school counselor. Ask them your questions, even the scary ones. You don't have to figure any of this out by yourself.

It's okay to say, "I'm worried." It's okay to ask, "Is Mom going to be okay?" The grown-ups who love you will always try to tell you the truth in a way you can understand.