When Your Friend Has Cancer

Finding out a friend has cancer can feel confusing and scary. You might not know what to say or do. Good news: being a good friend is simpler than you think.

First, the facts

• You can't catch cancer. It's not like a cold. Sitting together, sharing markers, hugging — all safe.
• Nobody caused it. Not your friend, not you, not anything anyone said or did.
• Doctors have lots of ways to help. Your friend has a whole team working for them.

What to say

You don't need magic words. Simple and true works best:

• "I'm glad to see you."
• "That stinks. I'm sorry you're sick."
• "Want to play?"

It's okay if it feels awkward at first. It might. Say hi anyway. The worst thing isn't saying something clumsy — it's saying nothing and staying away. That can make a sick kid feel invisible.

What to do

Your friend might miss a lot of school. They might look different for a while — maybe no hair, maybe puffier cheeks from medicine. They're still the exact same person inside. Here's what helps:

• Send messages, drawings, funny videos, or cards.
• Keep them in the loop about school stuff and jokes.
• Ask a grown-up about visiting. Some days are good days for visits and some days aren't. That's about the medicine, not about you.
• When you're together, do normal stuff. Games, shows, trading cards. Normal is a gift.

If it makes you worried

Sometimes when a friend gets sick, kids start to worry — about their friend, or even about getting sick themselves. If worries buzz around your head, tell a grown-up you trust. A parent, a teacher, or the school counselor can help. Taking care of your own feelings makes you a stronger friend, too.