When the Medicine Isn't Working

This page is for a hard time. Maybe a grown-up told you the medicine isn't working anymore. It's okay to read this slowly, with someone you love close by.

What it means

Doctors try many medicines to fight cancer. Most of the time, the medicines help. But sometimes, even when everyone tries their hardest, the cancer keeps growing anyway.

That is not because anyone gave up. It is not because the doctors didn't try, or because your family didn't hope hard enough. And it is never, ever because of anything you did. Some cancers are just too strong for the medicine we have right now. That is nobody's fault.

The helping doesn't stop

Here's something important: even when medicine can't fix the cancer, the doctors and nurses don't go away. Their job changes. Now they work on comfort care — helping your person hurt less, rest better, and have more good moments.

Sometimes a special team called hospice helps too, often right at home. Their whole job is comfort and kindness, for your person and for your family. That includes you.

What you can do

You don't have to do anything special. But if you want ideas:

• Sit close, hold hands, or snuggle. Being near you is a comfort.
• Draw pictures, tell them about your day, or watch a show together.
• Say the things in your heart, like "I love you." There's no wrong way.

Quiet counts too. Just being in the same room is a way of loving someone.

Your feelings are allowed

You might feel sad, scared, or mad. You might feel worried about what comes next. You might even feel normal sometimes, and then feel bad about feeling normal. All of that is okay. There is no wrong way to feel.

Please don't carry your big questions alone. Ask them out loud — to your parent, grandparent, a counselor, or another grown-up you trust. They may not have every answer. But they will always want to know what's in your heart, and you never have to go through this by yourself.